Silent
by AleinaReigning
Summary: Azula didn't always loathe her brother- instead she took her parents' words to heart and believed herself a monster. This story addresses a question I often think about- How loud does a cry for help have to be before it is answered? R&R- Complete!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender**

**This is a story about Zuko and Azula from when they were young. I have always thought that she wasn't corrupted until much later in life- in this, she is five, and he is seven. Enjoy.**

Zuko was laying in his bed under the cool silk sheets when he heard his door crack open. He looked up and saw Azula- she was rubbing the sleep from her eyes, her short black hair was all messy on one side as if she'd been sleeping, and her small feet stopped uncertainly at the entrance to his room. He sat up, annoyed at being interrupted.

"What do you want, Azu?" he asked, his voice brunt and cold. He watched her bite her lip silently and comb her short fingers through her hair, but she didn't answer. Her toes were gripping the red carpet as she looked at the floor, and he asked her again. "Hey, what do you _want_?" His voice was insistent, she always did this, woke him up, refused to talk and just stood there until he laid back down. She never made a sound, never cried or anything- he knew she was probably just doing it to annoy him.

"Stupid baby," he taunted, and her eyes shot up as her mouth opened just a bit. She was always picking on him and playing tricks on him, and she could make sparks just as well as he could, and he was two years older. "Why don't you go get Father, maybe he wants to get woke up by you in the middle of the night." He watched curiously as she distractedly put her right hand on her left forearm and pinched it, hard. She bit her lip harder, and he got out of bed, uneasily watching his baby sister clamping her nails into her own skin.

"Azu. Hey, Azu, stop it!" he yelled, and grabbed her hand. She released her skin, and in the light from the hallway he could see where she'd done it before- small white scars, little scabs and raised skin, some of them were even bleeding. "Why do you do that?" he asked her, and she tilted her head down silently. She only talked to him when Father was around. She ignored him around Mother, and even with their dad she was mean. but still- she looked sad, and lonely, and he clumsily patted her shoulder. She looked up, and for the first time in a long time, her golden eyes were shiny like she was about to cry.

"Zuzu," she started, then hesitated. Her voice was tiny in the large room, it echoed faintly, and he tilted his head- she sounded so different. Abruptly she turned away and walked out of his room, her steps small and meek in the grandeur of the hall. Curious, he followed her back to her room, right down the hall from their parent's room. Only then could he hear the shouts coming from their bedroom. Zuko could her his mother speaking urgently.

"She's an innocent little _girl_, Ozai, not some piece of clay you can mold to fit your schedule and-"

"Be quiet!" His father's voice whipped out venomously, "You have no idea what you are saying! She is my daughter and I will _not_ allow her to be-"

"Be what? Be what, Ozai? You want her to turn into the monster that you make her out to be? Why do you think she picks on Zuko? Why do you think she tried to make sparks until she collapsed because she saw how you honored your son for it?" Zuko's stomach turned as he looked down at Azula, saw how hard she was pinching her skin and slapped her hand away, noticing the dark red smear that followed her fingers as her nails scraped down her arm.

Their father scoffed, "I now know I shouldn't have honored him, if his little sister can upstage him then-"

"STOP! You are ruining them! You're pitting them against each other- This is not some war, this is our _family_!" There was a crash, and he heard his mother cry out in pain. His father was suddenly speaking too low for them to hear, and the siblings listened as Ozai's voice began a crescendo into a howl of rage. His mother screamed again, and suddenly all was silent in the room down the hall.

"Azula, has this happened before tonight?" he asked her in hushed tones, and she nodded, letting her tears flow freely now, breathing in short little gasps as if it hurt her to take in full breaths.

"They think I'm a monster," she whimpered, and he hugged her, letting her small hands bunch his robe behind his back as she held on for dear life. He felt horrible and queasy. Every time this had happened, she'd come to him and he had sent her away to get her back for her cruel jokes during the day. And it was his fault that she had hurt herself, he could just tell. "I found out stuff. Daddy doesn't love me, really, and Mom is scared of him and loves you more than me. And you… you don't like me either," she finished in a small voice, and he pulled back a little bit to look at her. She wasn't so perfect now with her eyes red and puffy and her hair all messed up, and he felt like this was how she really was inside, instead of the mini-me of their father. He grabbed her hand and pulled her out of her room and she followed him obediently to his chambers.

"From now on, you can sleep in here when you need to, okay?" he said, feeling sort of proud of himself. She looked up at him in confusion as he awkwardly kissed the top of her head like his mom did whenever he was hurt, and then he went to the curtains and ripped off strips from the bottom and wound them around her arm, around the cuts and pinches she'd made with her pointy nails and kissed the bandage too, feeling a little foolish. She watched this slowly and silently, and when he pulled a blanket and pillow off his bed and laid down on the floor, she stood off to one side, tugging at her night gown and rubbing her sore eyes.

Zuko looked at Azula. Azu looked at Zuzu, and he raised his eyebrows. "You're supposed to get in the bed, that's what gentlemen do when ladies aren't comfy." he said, his voice full of authority, and she scrambled to his side, giving him a quick hug then curling up under his covers. "Azu?" he asked, and she mumbled something. "I don't hate you. And you're not a monster, and Mom and Dad do love you." he said, blushing, feeling very guilty but not quite knowing why. He knew he was lying, and he felt like apologizing for no reason at all.

There was silence, and then she rolled over, facing him. "It hurts." she whispered, and then took a deep, shuddering breath. "But… thanks Zuzu." she said, and then her voice got a little stronger. "But you're still a dumb-dumb," she said, and quickly rolled over and squished her eyes shut. He sighed in frustration but didn't bother replying. within minutes they were both asleep, and the next morning, Ozai strode into his son's room, about to wake him for firebending lessons, and instead found Azula curled into a tiny ball, burrowed under his covers while the Prince slept on the floor.

His eyes narrowed, and he pulled his son up roughly off the ground without saying a word, leaving his daughter in her peaceful dreams as he raged at Zuko. The young boy sat in his chair, keeping his eyes locked on the Fire Lord's moving lips, but wondered to himself why he wasn't allowed to care for his baby sister. In that moment he was glad that it was him who bore the force of their father's anger instead of Azula- she'd already punished herself enough, and even if she woke up and acted the same way as ever, he felt like he'd helped her, and a few hurled curses from his dad wasn't going to change that.

**This turned out way longer than I originally thought- I'm toying around with the idea of maybe chronicling Azula's and Zuko's childhood, including their gradual split as well as their relationship with their parents. Please review and tell me what you think. Thanks for reading, and if you like my style of writing, check out my profile and read my other stories!**

**Sincerely, AleinaReigning**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Competition

"Ha! I beat you!" Azula yelled as she ran and jumped onto the first step leading to the entrance of the Fire Lord's palace. Zuko followed shortly after her, huffing, sweating, and looking very angry. She smiled smugly at him and glanced at her father, who stood watching them silently not far off.

"No fair Azu, you cheated! You hit me!" he yelled. He hung his head under his father's glare and pushed past his five year old sister. "I'm not playing with you anymore! You're horrible!" She let her shoulders drop as she looked after him. He's mad at me, she thought to herself, and felt the strange feeling in her chest again. Azula took as deep a breath as she could, but it didn't go away- it was nothing like how her body hurt when she fell down (which was rarely) or the sting of fire against her fingertips, it was deeper and duller. It was the only type of pain that brought tears to her eyes.

"Azula." Her eyes widened as Ozai came up behind her, and she froze, wanting to wipe at the moisture in her eyes but knowing he would catch her doing it. He pulled her around to face him and towered over her, sneering down his nose. She didn't understand why he was looking at her like that, like he was waiting for something. It scared her. His eyes were narrowed and dug into her watery orbs like he was trying to drill into her brain, and she felt the liquid go over her lower eyelid and start to slide down her cheek.

He reached down, and for a second she hoped that he'd do something sweet like wipe the tear away like she'd seen Mother do for Zuko. Instead, the cruel little slap rang in her ears, and she gasped, no longer looking at her dad but at the golden dragon that stood guard next to her- the force of his hand had made her break eye contact, something he hated. But she thought more. Why would he want to look into the eyes of a weak little girl? The one he thought was a monster? Maybe he didn't like her crying and she shouldn't do it. Her heart hurt again, in the way that she couldn't explain, and she swallowed back the cry in her mouth and closed her eyes for just a moment.

When little Azula turned back to face the Fire Prince, her eyes were dry, her face was blank except for the red mark his hand had branded her with, and she stood as straight and tall as she possibly could. He smiled at her, his eyes still hard and searching. Then her turned and started walking as his little pet followed him to the palace obediently, mutely. It was like she knew what he was going to do, how he was going to punish her for showing him her weakness. She would never cry again in front of him after he was through with her, he thought with a smile. He reached down, grabbed the back of her head and led her by her hair, daring his daughter to yell, to be weak like her mother. She didn't.

Later that night, she woke up, her heart beating so hard it was making her dizzy. She'd heard a sound- an awful sound, coming from Mother and Father's room. The girl swallowed hard and listened, hearing the noise again. Tears welled up in her yellow eyes, and she fidgeted in her bed, not sure of what she should do. She heard it again and bit down on her swollen split lip, moving aside the night gown covering her bare skin and pinching her arm hard enough to bleed. She watched the dark liquid spill onto her bronze sheets from her bruised and chafed skin and concentrated on the pain, trying not to notice how the voice in her head taunted her.

Stupid baby. Stupid little wimp. No wonder Dad hates you. Of course Mom loves Zuko and not you. Why would they love you? You hurt people. You're weak and you cry. Stupid crybaby, it said over and over again, you're unloved and Zuko wished you were dead, all of them wish you were dead-

"No." she whimpered, and hid her head in her hands, grabbing fistfuls of her short, silky black hair. Her scalp still ached from where Daddy had grabbed it, like her whole entire body hurt, but she ignored it. "No," she said louder, but not loud enough to drown out the scream she heard from their mother as their father made that awful sound again. "No, no no no no," she repeated, steadily growing louder as she watched the blood drip, heard the voice in her head, heard the horrifying sound coming from the bedroom down the hall.

"Monster," the voice whispered maliciously, violently sadistic, and she cried out like she'd been wounded, flinging back her blankets and tearing away from her bed, her bare feet slapping against the ground as she made her way to the door and wrenching it open, running down the hallway away from the terrifying sound of Ozai's cruel, maniacal laughter, bursting out after every single scream emitted from her mom. She fled from the voice in her head and as she was running she sliced little lines into her skin with her nails, up and down her arm as she traveled towards her last hope.

Zuko was sleeping peacefully when he was roused by a banging sound on his door. It was frantic like a heart beat, and it took him no time at all to pull the door forward and catch little Azula as she fell into the room, wild eyed and muttering the word 'no' under her breath. He stood there shocked as she flinched away and looked around like a caged animal, and it scared him. From the open door came the sound of a distant scream, and she moaned, squeezing her eyes shut. Zuko instinctively clapped his hand over her small ears, and pulled her to him, letting her wrap her arms around his waist as she rocked back and forth.

"Zuzu I can hear them, it hurts and there's a voice, and-" she stopped, yanked away, and for the first time since he'd left her that morning after the race, he looked at her. Her face was swollen, her lip was bleeding and she had five little red marks on her throat, four on one side of her neck and one on the other. He could see a bruise forming on her shoulder through the sheer sleeves of her nightie, and there was a small singe mark on her toes, like she'd been in the way of a fire blast traveling along the ground. She pulled up her sleeve and her arms were marked up with bruises and the familiar scratches she put on herself when she wasn't okay. "I made myself bleed again. I'm sorry I know you don't want me to, but… when I do it makes the hurt go away, except then the voice comes, which is why I came here to you…" she explained quietly, and chanced a look into his face. What she saw made her step back- his features were exactly like her father's.

"Oh no," she whispered, and for the second night in a row he found her eyes watering- he was so confused, how did she get so hurt? "You look like he did before…" her voice dwindled off and became non existent as he searched her eyes for any sign on his strong baby sister. He reached up, curious about the mark on her left cheek- was the skin actually red and hot or was it a trick of the light?- and she flinched away, terrified.

"Azu? What happened? What voice, and why do you look so scared?" he asked her uncertainly, and she shook her head, tears flying towards him and hitting his chest like explosions. She murmured something but he couldn't hear it.

"What? Say that again. Oh, and I forgive you for cheating today… it doesn't really matter," he tried to comfort her but when he put his hand on her shoulder she bit her lip and squeaked in pain, so he let it slide off. "Say it again."

Azula took a deep breath, filling her broken little body, and closed her eyes, sending a quick prayer to Agni. Please let him help me, please let him understand, she though desperately, and subconsciously ran a hand over the marks on her neck from when he'd held her again the wall.

"Azu? Hey, don't cry, I'm here. Please tell me, I pinkie promise I won't tell anyone," her brother begged, and her big pretty eyes snapped open. She looked so innocent to him, and fragile. She opened her small mouth, and the next three words she said broke every good feeling in his body into little tiny pieces.

"Daddy hurt me."


	3. Chapter 3

The Break

Zuko breathed deeply, sparking the fire inside of him, and went through the poses again. Sometimes he could not jump high enough in the air, or his stance was not wide enough, but he kept at it, trying to forget his audience. Once he was finished he wiped the sweat off his forehead, and turned to face his little sister, who sat on the ground watching him with excitement in her eyes. Once he turned to her, she wiped her face clean and tried to look bored, examining her long, sharp nails.

"Azula, you were supposed to be watching me!" he complained, and she smiled at him. She had her hair in the traditional top knot, and a red dress with long sleeves hid the bruises that had just begun to fade since Ozai had punished her. It had a high collar to disguise the five little fingerprints on her neck, and she was absolutely baking in the hot weather.

"I was watching, Zuzu, and I think you're really good at it. I wish I was old enough to start training," she said enviously, and Zuko smiled. She almost never said nice things to him, so he was going to savor the moment. He was feeling charitable, so he walked over to her and grabbed her hand. "What are you doing?" she asked him.

"I'm gonna show you what _I_ was doing, okay? But you can't tell Father or Mother, 'cause it's not allowed until you turn six. Promise?" She nodded in response, curious, and he went into his stance, nudging her until she copied him. He punched his fist forward, and a small flame erupted from his knuckles. He looked over and nodded at Azula, who did the same thing- sparks flew from her hand, and she frowned, disappointed.

They went through the rest of the sequence, Zuko fire bending and Azula mirroring him with her sparks. In the last pose, though, a burst of fire spurted out from her tiny fists. She yelped and jumped back a little, then whipped her head around to face her brother, hardly believing her good fortune.

"Zuko! I did it! I fire bended!" She was waiting for him to smile, but he didn't. Instead, he looked shocked, and he wouldn't look her in the eyes. She frowned, and raised her hand to touch his face. "Zuzu, what's wrong? Did I do it wrong? Are you mad at me?" Her voice faltered as he turned back to her.

"I just don't see why you're so good at this already, you're a girl, and you're younger. I don't get it." he said, and he shrugged, but she could tell he was still upset. Panic clawed at her throat- for the past week he hadn't left her alone, he was protecting her from their father and she messed it up. She closed her eyes, hung her head. Zuko watched curiously as she started fidgeting, staring at nothing. The voices were back.

_You messed up again, stupid_. _He hates you now, just like Mother and Father. This is what happens when you trust people. This is what happens when you get too comfortable. They'll hurt you, they always do. Just like Daddy did. Even when you told him no, he still hurt you. Zuko will, too. It won't be long now. Stupid crybaby. Monster. Weakling. _She whimpered, and just as he was about to comfort her, they were interrupted.

"You don't understand, Zuko?" A majestic voice echoed out from behind the kids, and they turned around. Azula cringed and looked away as their father, Prince Ozai, walked towards them, his eyes boring into his son's, glinting with the pleasure of what he was about to say. He grabbed Azula by her hips and swung her up into his arms- she let her body go limp, it was nothing like the gentle love of a parent, it was harsh and painful and felt nasty and wrong. Ozai continued speaking to Zuko as he cradled his only daughter in a cruel, twisted mockery of affection.

"You and her are very different, Zuko. You lack strength, wisdom, and wit, and she is everything that you are not. In fact, I find it funny that my firstborn son is inferior to his baby sister. Do you know why, Zuzu?" he asked, using Azula's pet name for him, poisoning it as it fell from his lips. "It's because she was born lucky- and you were lucky to be born." Zuko could only watch numbly as his father cuddled Azula closer, stroking her hair as she gazed off into the distance, silent for once in her father's arms instead of proud and boasting. It looked like she was listening to a far off sound- something scary, judging by the terror in her eyes.

Ozai laughed cruelly and turned around, moving Azula so she was draped over his left shoulder, staring back at Zuko, begging him with her eyes not to leave her alone with the voice in her head and the man who inspired it. She watched his eyes narrow, and he looked to the floor, gritting his teeth and breaking off the lifeline she'd depended on to keep her safe. She closed her eyes against the tears, and knew that for the rest of her life she could never forget the look of jealousy in his glare, as if he would have done anything to be her.

She had no way to tell him that if she could, she would be anyone but her daddy's little perfect girl- she was one of the only people who really knew just how he treated his 'pets'. _Maybe if you can keep his attention on you, he'll never care enough about Zuko to hurt him,_ the voice in her head whispered, but another one took its place. _Azula, you're evil. You want him to get hurt so that Daddy will take his attention off you. Selfish baby._ It taunted, sounding very similar to her mother's voice.

Ozai set her down in her room- she hadn't realized that was where they had been going. She drew within herself and stood up straight like a little soldier, kept her face blank. "Azula, I believe it is time for you to begin training. Normally, one would wait until you were six- but seeing you make fire today, and the fact that you held your poses straighter and stronger than Zuko, I think you would benefit from starting to learn fire bending immediately. Understood?"

She nodded smartly, and ventured a question. "Will I be practicing with Zuko?" she asked, keeping her voice steady to sound older. Her father grinned, but it didn't reach his eyes- she suppressed a shudder.

"No. He would have held you down-" A flash went through her mind of a pair of strong arms locking her by her throat against a wall- "and he would have distracted you from your learning-" She felt his hot breath on her neck and bit her lip, trying to ignore how painful his grip was- "so you will be training with me." He finished, and Azula looked up at him slowly. She thought deeply, and realized that maybe Daddy wouldn't have done that to her if Zuko hadn't of told on her and made her cry. Maybe it was his fault, and not hers. She blinked, and a disbelieving smile spread onto her face. He was the reason she'd been called weak. Zuko made her father see her fault, and if she stayed away from him, there was no reason why she couldn't be daddy's perfect pet. And a perfect pet is rewarded, she thought. It was all so simple now- her father's words had made her see.

"I would be greatly honored if you would teach me your ways, Father." she said formally, and Ozai leered at her. He had seen it all on her face; she couldn't hide it from him. How she had blamed herself for the pain he brought her, and how she'd twisted it around until it was no longer her fault. He had a good idea of whom she blamed now, and it was not him.

He exited the room and walked down the hallway, back to his useless wife, thinking that although Azula had Ursa's features, her mind was influenced only by him- only he could have spurred her to compete against Zuko, and she would be perfect for him and him alone. He threw his head back and laughed- not knowing that Azula's mind did not just harbor fear for him, but those voices which increased it tenfold. He had no way of knowing that as soon as he left her, she scraped another line of scars across her arm to silence the screaming in her head, and rocked back and forth, wishing Zuko was there but knowing there was no way she could go to him again after everything that had happened.

She was thoroughly alone now, save for the voices and her father, and there was no turning back.

**This is quite a bit deeper than I'd originally intended, and I'm deciding to make Azula schizophrenic, due to the tumult and strife which surrounds her. After this, she will no longer depend on her big brother, although sometimes they have their moments. The title of this chapter, "The Break" refers to many things- the end of her dependence on Zuko, the splintering of her sanity at such a young age, and other insightful meanings, which will become clear later. No, I am not going to depict her as some crazy psycho like she is in the TV show. I've always believed that she was just misunderstood, and I will continue down that road. Thanks for reading! Please review :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Unleashed

Ozai watched his daughter with a satisfied smirk on his face. She went through her exercises with precision and power- she was already at level two while her brother had yet to master the basics. She extended her fingers like most female fire benders did, wielding her flame like a knife. At her sixth birthday party, he had presented her with metal arm cuffs- a necessary item for any fire bender who would also train in martial arts, and the very next day he had drilled her until she collapsed. He laughed at the memory, remembering how she had stood up and wiped the blood from her chin with a shaking hand before her eyes went dull and she had dropped to her knees, and then fallen sideways onto the ground.

Ursa was too soft; she treated her son like a little lamb when he needed a wolf, someone who was ruthless and completely loyal to him. He never expected to find that in his daughter. He raised a hand to eye level and pushed fire out from his fingertips, admiring the heat, the power of it. All it had taken was a few lessons and she had found out just how displeased he had been with her weaknesses. He went back to watching Azula, just in time to see her small foot come down crooked.

She had been focusing completely on her fire bending, striving for perfection, when she felt heat scorch her feet. She skidded away and whipped her head around to look blankly at her father, not letting herself cry out or show any pain from the small burn on her foot. He stalked over to her and grabbed her by the roots of her hair, forcing her to look up into his face- it scared her. She was less than half his size…_Can't you tell just how much he wants to kill you? You're worthless. You will never be useful to him, and he will never love you. No one will._ She screamed back at the voices inside her head, the ones that taunted her at every misstep and laughed at her in the silence of her room, to shut up, to just leave her alone- but they never did.

"So. You thought that you could slack off, make mistakes, and be fine? Do you think I would let you get away with that?" he asked her coldly, accentuating his words with sharp tugs on the back of her head. Her eyes were blazing, but with intelligence, not emotion-with time, she would learn to be as cold hearted as him. He released her and she stood up, arms folded behind her back, staring straight ahead like a soldier. "Go through it again."

She slammed her fist into the air. _Breathe, idiot, you're not going to be powerful enough the way you are. _Flames shot in front of her only to be sliced in half by her foot, sticking straight out in a forceful kick. _Your leg isn't high enough, and you need to be faster._ She let out a breath and jumped high in the air, pushing fire from her hands in two distinct shots. _Agni, little monster, can't you do anything right?_ She heard her father leave as the voices started to laugh, but she didn't stop- she wasn't perfect yet. She slid her foot along the ground at just the right angle. _Good for you. No, really, I'm so proud._ She gritted her teeth as the voices turned sarcastic and started overlapping. Someone laughed, and she forgot to breathe correctly, the flame wasn't as strong as it should have been. Suddenly the casual mockery turned to rage.

_You stupid little weakling! Someone as worthless as you should just go away. You should just die, die, die, DIE-_

"NO!" She screamed and clapped her hands over her ears, tearing at her hair, claw marks raking down the side of her neck. "Shut UP! LEAVE ME ALONE!" She stomped her feet as the voices mocked her again, as the one who sounded like Mother repeated her death sentence. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and whipped around, snarling like a wounded animal. Ursa stood there, looking deeply concerned; reaching for her daughter's scratched up face. She leapt back as Azula attacked her then retreated, shooting fire from her fingers, singing the bottom of her robe.

"Azula!" She exclaimed reproachfully, shocked, staring at this… this creature that had taken over her little girl's body, which now lay shaking and moaning on the ground, crumpled like a puppet without it's strings. The six year old drew her soot stained fingers back to her ears and screamed inside her mouth, not opening her lips- it was as if she wouldn't allow herself to feel terror, though it was plain in her eyes. Ursa ran back to her side just as her body arched in the air in a twisted, sick way, and fell back to the ground, limp and unconscious. Ursa screamed.

"Honey? Azula, honey wake up. Azula!" she cried, panicked. She looked around for help, and then tried to pick her up off the ground- she'd gotten heavier, and the metal of her fire bending gear was too clunky, she couldn't do it. She saw her husband watching from the porch, and screamed to him for help. He walked over casually as her anger and frustration mounted- he wasn't hurrying or even remotely interested in their daughter lying on the ground after a psychotic breakdown.

Suddenly Azula woke up- she relaxed, sighing in relief as her six-year-old daughter opened her eyes. "Thank Agni," she murmured, and looked deep into her eyes. They were just like her husbands, almond shaped, golden, and impossible to read.

"Mom?" Azula asked her hesitantly. "What happened?" She felt Ozai come to a stop right above her shoulder, and watched Azula's frightened gaze break from her eyes and slide to the glare of her father. Her body went rigid and her eyes narrowed all at once- she got up so fast that Ursa didn't even see it coming. Stunned, she looked on as Azula bowed to her parents.

"I am sorry for slacking off, Father. I shouldn't have taken a break- Mother, thank you for waking me up from my nap- I must have dozed off. I apologize. Would you like me to continue training or may I go refresh myself in my room?" Azula said smartly, looking straight into her mother's eyes, which were wide in confusion. _You had better hope she doesn't rat you out, little monster. She knows it wasn't a nap. You're a liar. And a bad one, at that. Shameful. _Her mother nodded almost imperceptibly- clearly telling her they would discuss it later. She focused on her father- his eyes spoke to her- he would obviously deal with her when the time came, he'd seen right through her lie. He waved her off- she bowed again and walked away, forcing herself to keep a measured pace.

As soon as she was gone, he turned to him wife and spat in her face, grabbing her arms and pulling her in close to his body. "You will never, ever look at me or yell at me like that again. Do you understand me, Ursa?" he hissed, enjoying the play of fear across her face before she closed her eyes. She sagged into him, nodding, submitting to him.

Once Azula was out of sight, she glanced behind her and broke into a run, pushing her body as fast as it could go. She looked behind her again, knowing that her father was coming after her, but seeing no one. Her foot caught on a step in the floor, and she fell to the ground, uttering a short, surprised cry before her hands grated against the stone hallway.

"Azula?" Zuko peered out from behind the corner, clutching a tapestry in his hands and staring at her in disbelief. She sat up slowly as he came around the corner, and composed herself. She felt her face go blank, and she went to the place in her head where she could stay silent and no one would even notice what she was thinking or feeling. She looked to a spot just above Zuko's shoulder.

"Yes, Zuko?" she answered, trying to make her voice as imperious as possible. He came a little closer, and then looked down, his eyes widening as he took in her scraped hands and charred clothes. He sighed and helped her up.

"You're hurt." He muttered. _Weakling. You need help. You should be able to do it alone. Look at him; he never has to ask for help, he works at it. However, you're lazy. Stupid little girl._ The voice was louder than ever, it hurt her ears. She gasped and whimpered, and Zuko turned and put his hand on her shoulder-she flinched away.

"Get away from me!" she yelled, "I don't need your help! I don't need anyone!"

He watched his little sister shy away from him, and noticed something. She used to walk with small steps, like she was trying to not be noticed. She used to look at him differently, like she admired him- but only when Father wasn't looking. Now, she was scared, and something in her expression kept him from going back to her. Without a word, he turned and started walking away. He didn't stop when he heard her hit the floor again. He focused on stepping in a straight line instead of the sounds of her gasping.

But he froze when he heard her small voice murmur his nickname- "Zuzu…" At once, all he could remember was the mocking tone of voice his father had used when he called his son that- and how right afterwards, Ozai had said that awful thing. _I deserved to be born too,_ he thought, and anger rushed into his stomach. He turned around, glaring at his sister, the family favorite, their dad's newest protégée.

"Don't call me that anymore, Azula." he spat, and she lowered her head. He felt guilt rise in him, and all at once, he couldn't take it, he didn't want to be part of this twisted family anymore- he ran away from her, and away from the guilt she made him feel.

A couple hours later she was in her room, lying listlessly on the bed. She heard a knock on her door and didn't bother to answer, instead brushing her hair back. It was getting long, and her mother liked it short- she'd have to get it cut again soon. _Speak of the devil,_ the voice hissed as the door opened, and her mother came in, closing it carefully behind her. She sat up, wiping her cheeks for any moisture and congratulating herself when she found none. "What do you want, Mother?" she asked tiredly. Maybe she'd keep her hair long after all.

"Azula, I'm worried about you."_ Yeah right. She doesn't care about you._ "To see your only daughter in so much pain…" _Liar. You're a liar, Mother._ "I hated it. Honey, you need to tell me what's wrong. Who were you talking to when you were screaming?" _You tell her. Go ahead. Then you'll be locked up in a cell, a cage- how fitting considering that you're Daddy's little mon-_

"Mother, let's get something straight. We both know that I'm certainly not your favorite child, no; Zuzu is for some strange reason. So why don't you go play with him and leave me and Father alone?" The words spilled out from her lips, and she was shocked- they weren't hers. The tone of voice wasn't hers. It was as if she was silent inside her body and the voice- Her eyes widened. She stared disbelievingly into her mother's hurt eyes and wanted to take it all back. But she couldn't because all of a sudden, the voice was no longer just inside her head. They laughed, all of them. She shuddered, and felt bile rise in her throat.

_Stupid, stupid little monster. Did you really think you could control me? You're too weak._

It was unleashed.

**Sorry for not updating very quickly! I'll try to be better at it. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review. **


	5. Chapter 5

Imprisoned

Azula stepped into her room, swaying dangerously. She had just gotten back from a martial arts lesson with Father- she could still feel every blow of his marking her skin, battering her small body. And if that wasn't enough, the voices had started up again the second she was alone. They infiltrated her dreams now, and she had named them- her own secret demons, Shui and Pon. Pon was a woman who called herself Mother and demanded that Azula did, too. Shui was the scariest- he sounded like a mixture between a dragon and Father, and he said the most awful things- words that came out of her own mouth against her will. It was him who had made her say those horrible things to her mother, and Zuko. But never Father.

_Well of course not, Azula. Do you want to die? No doubt you should, but until you do, we'll be here, keeping you company. We will never leave, _Pon murmured, and Azula shuddered- her tone was thick and sweet like honey, but bitter- it didn't take a genius to recognize the poorly hidden poison. Shui laughed at the thought. _You're right for once, little monster. Because if it did take someone smart to recognize malice and poison, you'd be ruined and dead by now. Instead, you're just Daddy's little pet- until he tires of you like Mother and Zuko did. _

Azula shook her head crossly, fearfully. "He won't. My father needs me, and he will not grow tired of me. I'm his favorite!" she cried, stamping her foot, wiping a smear of blood from a cut on her cheek. "He will not leave me!" Pon doubted her- it was easy to see, it infected all her senses and colored them red. "Leave me alone. I don't want you to force your thoughts on me anymore. Stop it." she snapped, and covered her ears. _But if we leave you, then you will have no one. Poor little girl- no friends, no one to love her- it's a shame, really._ Azula turned to the mirror in her room, half expecting to see her constant companions reflected in her amber eyes- but there was no one there but her. "You aren't real," she whispered, and cringed at the laughter.

_Then you must be crazy._ Shui roared, and she shook her head, marching out of her room as she tore her eyes from her empty shell reflected back at her through the looking glass.

Zuko was demonstrating for his father, and he felt fiercely proud of it. This was the first time he'd been asked to perform- usually, his mother asked Ozai to let him, begged him to pay attention to his son. But not this time. He bent fire in a small burst from his fist, and slammed his palm up into the air, alternating his fists as he created a shield of flame around himself. He'd learned it just yesterday and had practiced for hours, finally getting it right. And now he looked at his father after he finished, and waited for just one word of approval. The Fire Prince's face was blank, and he opened his mouth to speak- just as Azula ran through the door, coming to a sudden halt when she saw what she had interrupted.

"Sorry Father," she murmured, staring at Zuko. He hated how afraid she looked- but not of him, or her father for now. She cringed, and bowed low, waiting for forgiveness just as he was waiting for praise. Ozai turned to his daughter, locking his gaze on her small form.

"Zuko. I commend you on your fire bending- maybe I was foolish to think your little sister was better than you, she is obviously inferior to you." he said, his voice dripping with ice, his eyes blazing with fire. Zuko heard Azula gasp, and longed to turn around and see her, but something kept his eyes locked on his father. He heard small footsteps go out of the room, and he knew his baby sister had run out- only then did Ozai turn to Zuko, and look him fully in the eyes- it was a lie.

His shoulders sagged as he realized what had happened. He wanted to punish her- but Zuko didn't know exactly why, just that he had told him what he wanted to hear, knowing it would tear her apart. It was empty approval, insincere, and it was the last straw. He turned on his heel and went out of the room, not caring anymore if he was better than Azula- just wanting to be good enough for some true pride instead of this sick lie he had grown up with.

Azula went around the corner of the building, gasping for breath as a hole tore it's way through her stomach. She retched, and fell to her knees. Shui spoke up. _See? He has left you too. This is why you don't rely on people. This is why you can't love, can't depend on others. Do you understand, little monsters? You must be completely self sufficient- and if you get help, use it to your advantage and never look back. This is the end of the old you, little Azula. But don't worry. _Pon joined him, her voice strangely comforting. _We will still be here. Us only. Only us. Pon, Shui. And Azula. We will accomplish whatever we need to, and never look back. No love. Just power. Like Father is. _

She hunched over. "Yes," she agreed, submitting to them. "Only us."

An hour later, Zuko was in the courtyard, slamming into the ground again and again, trying to push fire from his feet along the ground to the mark he had drawn. The flames never went far enough, and he was mad. "Argh! Why can't I do this?" he yelled, and heard someone clapping from the other end of the stone platform. He recognized his uncle Iroh, heir to the throne, and bowed deeply, waiting to be received. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder, and straightened up, staring into the face of the general, who was smiling faintly with something like affection in his eyes.

"Hello, my nephew. Long time, no see, right?" He asked, and patted him on the shoulder. Zuko nodded, too weary to answer properly. "I see you have improved greatly in your fire bending since I last saw you," he complimented, and Zuko drew back, waiting for the taunt, the put down that was sure to come. When he said nothing else, the seven year old thanked him- the Dragon of the West.

"If I might make a suggestion, I would say if you slid your foot more to the right when you stomp it onto the ground and hit it less strongly, you might get a better result." he said, and motioned for him to try it.

"Okay, Uncle." he answered, and summoned a breath, then brought his foot down solidly and turned it- he felt the burn in his muscles, and flames licked the ground fiercely, devouring thee line he had drawn and leaving scorch marks patterned across the stone. He turned and smiled widely at the older man. "Did you see that? I did it!" he exclaimed, and bowed to Iroh before running off. "I'm going to go show Mother!"

The general chuckled good naturedly, then went off in search of his younger brother. He wandered through the halls before coming to a stop in front of a small girl leaning up against the wall. She was breathing heavily, and holding her side.

"Azula, is that you?" he asked, and she whipped around, jumping to attention with her arms folded behind her back, her face completely devoid of emotion.

"Good afternoon, Uncle Iroh. It is a pleasure to see you again." she said politely, and he stared at the dark red smear on the side of her white tunic- she had clearly come from a fighting lesson. It was crazy. She was six years old, bleeding, and behaving like one of the soldiers he commanded ever day on the battlefield. Even the men complained if they were hurt- but she wasn't even allowing herself a grimace.

"You look hurt. Are you sure you don't want that cut bandaged? As well as the scratch on your arm- that looks painful," he said gently, and moved towards her. She leaned back slightly, staring deep into his eyes. All he could read in her body language was a warning sign- she was clearly telling him that she didn't need his help.

"No thank you. Are you looking for Father? I just left him in the training grounds." she said, pulling her sleeve down over the shallow cut on her arm. Every movement sent more blood dribbling down her side, and more pain tearing through the edges of her wound. She waited for the old man to stop talking, and pat her on the shoulder before leaving- then she walked to her room quickly, ignoring the quiet sound of her blood dripping onto the floor. She opened her door and closed it quickly, locking it, then found a towel to press against her side, trying to stem the flow. She gritted her teeth at the pain, and then swayed back and forth before collapsing to the ground, unconscious.

Ozai sat down with Iroh as the older man called for tea, barely hiding his contempt for this fat brother of his who took everything he had wanted. "How is Lu Ten?" he asked, more out of manners than curiosity- he didn't care at all about his nephew, not accepting the fact that such a young, inexperienced boy could be put ahead of him in the line of succession to the throne.

"He is advancing quickly in his studies, and is in good health. Unlike little Azula, I presume. Who does she train with that hurts her so badly? She was bleeding profusely, and didn't even wince." Ozai grinned, pleased with her lack of emotion.

"I believe that if you are to train a monster, you must teach it first hand how to hurt. I train with her, and if you have an opinion about it, I do not want to hear it." he countered nonchalantly, and Iroh frowned. "She is no stranger to pain. I believe she is a fire bending protégée, and as such, she will be immensely useful to me in the future."

"And your son?" Iroh asked, and his brother shrugged, something evil glinting in his eye.

"I care not what happens to him. He is the exact opposite of Azula- if it weren't for his mother I would have sent him away long ago." Iroh shuddered at the heartless tone of his voice, and their conversation moved on to other things.

A maid knocked lightly on the door of Azula's bedroom. "Miss Azula? Dinner is ready, and since your uncle has arrived I am supposed to get you dr- Oh!" she screamed when she saw the little girl lying on the floor in a small pool of her own blood. She rushed to the hallway, screaming for help as she ran down the hallway. Zuko heard her and ran with his heart in his throat to her room- he saw the court physicians working over her small body, the paleness of her face, her eyes closed. He felt his mother's hand on his shoulder, and his father's coolness, and prayed to Agni. _Please let her be okay_ he said in his mind, and felt someone tug at him. He followed the man through the hallway until they came to a stop on a balcony outside the palace, staring over the bay and the setting sun.

"Zuko, I am sorry you had to see that." His uncle said, and he glanced up into the man's eyes- he looked haunted and worried, and Zuko felt fear clawing at his stomach. "But she will be fine. One of the medicine men told me so, do you understand?" Zuko glanced back down, biting his lip.

"I understand that this wouldn't have happened if I had been there to protect her from Father," he muttered, tears gathering in his eyes. He clenched his small fists shut, and closed his eyes. "This is my fault. I knew she was too weak to deal with him, he even hurt Mom, but I was jealous and scared and now she almost died and it's all my fault."

"It can't be your fault. I think you feel guilty, but I think you also feel jealous." At Zuko's surprised stare, he smiled gently. "Do not forget that I myself am an older brother with a very talented younger sibling. Tell me about it."

"Well, I'm sorry she got hurt, but at the same time…" he looked down, blushing. "I wish Father would train with me, and pay attention to me. She always takes his time, he never even looks at me."

"After what he has done to Azula, do you even still want him?" Anger erupted in Zuko's body, and he glared at the older man.

"Of course I do! He's my dad! Azula takes him away from me, it's all her fault that he hates me!" he yelled, and sparks flew from his fingertips. Iroh smiled sadly, and got up slowly, turning around.

"I thought you were ready to have this conversation, but it seems you are still too young. It's alright, Zuko. I still love you, and any time you need me I will be here." The kind words startled him, and he took a step back, looking for any signs of lying. When he found none, he bowed and thanked his uncle, who exited the room without another word.

**I'm trying to make it a little bit obvious how Ozai is setting them against each other- and I was glad to introduce Iroh. If he seems a little out of character, he's supposed to be that way. I think he changed drastically after the death of his son, and I look forward to writing about that transformation. Please review! Thanks. **


	6. Chapter 6

Company

A steady stream of people flowed into her room through out the day- court physicians giving her tight lipped glares of disapproval, maids coming in to comb her hair, whispering behind their hands when they thought she was asleep. She was too tired to care, hating that she was just a small girl lying in a large bed- an empty shell of the powerful person she needed to be. She glanced idly at the sun dial in the corner next to the window, and sighed, frustrated.

"You there!" she commanded, and a girl looked up from her post at the end of the bed. "Why have the physicians kept my family away?" That could be the only explanation, the only fathomable reason that her father had not come to see her. The girl took a step back, failing to tamp down the fear in her expression. She curtsied slightly.

"Fire Prince Ozai had to leave suddenly on unknown business, Miss Azula. Your honorable mother and Zuko are at breakfast and will be here shortly afterwards." The young girl sat up indignantly, and then grimaced at the pain from the wound in her side- Agni condemn the healers, they had failed. "Please, my lady, don't try to push yourself-" The girl made the mistake of stepping too close- Pon hissed threateningly in Azula's mind, and Shui screamed from her lips.

"Get away! You filthy rat!" The servant backed away quickly, blushing, her eyes downcast. She felt no regret- she didn't let remorse into her small body anymore, for she knew Shui would devour it and Pon would taunt her in the voice that reminded her of Mother. Suddenly she became aware of someone else in the room- she whipped her head around to stare at the man who stood serenely just inside her door frame.

"Azula, it is not polite to call people names- even if one has a higher social standing than another, we are all human, and we all deserve kindness." Iroh's voice was light, but firm- Pon cowered from it, forcing Azula's body against the pillows in the sickening way she had of taking control. _Kindness? Bah!_ She spat, and her voice softened- she had the sudden mental image of loving hands stroking her long, dark hair. _The only one you will ever need kindness from is me, darling girl. Your mother loves you so,_ she murmured, and the young girl rolled her eyes before turning to her uncle.

"You're right, Uncle Iroh- I will try to be more understanding in the future." Shui spoke up thoughtfully- _You have been trained to have manners, little girl, but this old man offers something beyond it- flattery, perhaps. No, persuasion! Listen to him and study him- if you are to be of any use then you will have to learn how to get into someone's good graces. _Iroh made a speculative sound in the back of his throat, and anger boiled beneath the surface of his calm exterior. She was already a good liar- cunning and patronizing, reminding him far too much of his younger brother.

But it wasn't the little girl he was mad at- he knew full well that she was to be a pawn in Ozai's chess game, and it infuriated him. The man wouldn't listen to reason. He stepped closer to the imperious little girl, ignoring her obvious annoyance. "I am told that you are an extraordinary fire bender for so young." he said, hoping to draw her out from behind her wall. His own son, Lu Ten, sometimes did the same thing, emotionally detaching himself in order to hide from things he did not want to face- such as the horrors he had seen in the war from the front lines of the siege against Ba Sing Se. She raised her eyebrows and flicked her hair over her shoulder, the ghost of a smile on her pouty lips.

"I try my hardest and Father does what he can to make me strong." she commented, and he frowned- there was something buried in her voice- fear, maybe desperation or longing.

"And how does he do that?" She supposed that to Iroh's own ears he sounded mildly interested, distracted- the perfect tone when dealing with someone so secretive. But Azula knew better- she had dealt with too many conniving nobles in her short life than she could count- she felt it in her heart beat and the hair in the beck of her neck when someone was lying, as well as when someone was trying to wheedle information. _Maybe I should tell him,_ she thought- and instantly regretted it. Pon and Shui's voices rose like tsunami, violently battling one another for dominance as their demonic voices bashed against the walls in her mind.

"_HOW DARE YOU! YOU STUPID LITTLE BRAT, WEAKLING, IDIOT- IF YOU TELL HIM-"_

"_Do you really think he'd care anyways? And what if Father found out? Come now child, you can't be that desperate to die."_

"_Yes, my little monster- can you imagine what he would do? He would be so very disappointed… he would have to punish you for being so weak to complain of your injuries."_ She nodded subconsciously, and felt Shui break from her control- she welcomed it, allowed him access to her mouth.

"Uncle, it varies greatly- we spar on occasion, true, but I don't really know how to describe it, I suppose I am too young to fully comprehend it. Thank you for being interested, but I am weary- please excuse me for my poor hospitality, but may I please rest?" Her voice had changed, and the words were much too sophisticated for such a young child, but he sighed and hesitantly exited the room. She glared at the servant girl, who stuttered something about escorting him back to his chambers, and she departed as well.

Azula glanced around, making sure the curtains were closed, and darted out of bed, ignoring the pain in her side- when she was a warrior, she would receive injuries such as this if she wasn't careful, and she would have to fight regardless. She took a deep breath, focusing on the sharpness of the air and transforming it into something warmer, more jagged and powerful. She went through her stances, holding back as to not singe anything in the room, and felt something wild burning inside her from the excess flames she was holding within. She whimpered brokenly, beginning to sweat at the heat, and looked around, trying to find a bare wall of stone, or a vent- she glanced at the window, and made her way to it, never stopping her training and pushing through the movements gracefully as she let out tiny spurts of flame. She kicked the curtain aside, leaving one patch of it smoking. She shoved out her tiny hands, pushing against the window to open it outwards, leaving small scorch marks on the bubbly glass.

_Now,_ Shui whispered, and her eyes widened- she let go everything inside her in a single strike and yelled, and blue flames exploded from her fingers and roared through the open window, devouring the air and filling her amber eyes with wild ecstasy. She stood frozen in her final stance, listening to the maniacal laughter in her head as the disbelieving demons reveled in her power.

"Very good, Azula." She spun around, heart beating in her throat, as her father approached her- she hadn't heard him come in, and she immediately smoothed her face and stood at attention, allowing herself a smug little smile when she caught a glimpse of his expression. For the first time, she saw undiluted approval in the set of his mouth- she paid no attention to his eyes, they were always calculating no matter what. "You have moved on from red fire to the more intense blue fire- and once you can, you can never go back. It was outlawed when I was young, for many thought it was a mark of evil. Blue fire is hotter, more powerful, and can only be accessed in the beginning, it either happens or it doesn't in your developmental stages… I suppose this means you have gotten over your injury?" She thought about it quickly- she could feel the stitches coming apart in her skin, and was aware that he could probably see the blood soaking through her simple light tunic.

"The pain does not faze me, Father, but the wound is not healed. Your physicians could not do much except confine me to my bed, but I needed to train. I apologize for my disobedience." He smiled at the look of superiority on her face, and silently enjoyed the fact that she was strong to the point of self harm- it would be useful later on, like everything about her was.

"Then I suppose you deserve the gifts I have brought for you." he replied, and motioned to his servant, who fled the room and returned holding a chained woman dressed in blue clothes. Azula looked on in interest as the shackles were removed from the dark woman's wrists, and as Ozai brought her closer, holding a sharp flame in front of her throat, but not close enough to burn, to tear like he had done to his daughter's body. "This is the last water bender of the Southern Tribe- she was to be taken by the Southern Raiders to a prison like the others, but I intercepted them on the way to some other business, and brought her here. She can heal you like our medics cannot." He shoved the woman towards his daughter, and she cried out as his burning fingertips came into contact with her bare shoulder.

The Fire Prince waited, as well as his daughter, for the woman to take advantage of the water that had been placed by the nurse on the table- when she still hadn't moved, he snarled, turning her around to face him. "Well? Get on with it, vermin, or you can join the rest of your worthless people in death." Something flashed in her eyes, and she bit her lip as tears came to her eyes. Azula spoke up from where she stood.

"Father- this woman is not a bender." She had watched her while Ozai had introduced the tribal woman, seen her eyes flit around frantically when she had been called a water bender. She waited curiously as her father searched the woman's eyes- and his face filled with a sadistic sort of rage as he found the truth. He did not need to know why she had lied, and he didn't care that she was staring deep into his eyes with no fear, no remorse. In fact, it infuriated him. He would teach her to behave properly when a god deemed himself humble enough to meet her unworthy gaze.

Azula casually turned to the window, losing interest in her father and the water tribe woman. She heard his voice from a distance it seemed. "Then if that is true, you are no longer of any use to us." She felt something change in the pressure of the room, and suddenly saw blinding white light dance across the walls of the room, too bright to be anything but pure power. A sound of static filled the room, and she tensed. Ozai brought his lightning fingertips to the nape of the woman's neck, electrocuting her and snapping her spinal cord and brain stem in half. A second later it was done- he stopped the current coldly before her body became damaged, and motioned two soldiers from the hallway to carry her away.

She couldn't breathe- the fact that her father had killed the woman in her room was astounding. _It's alright Azula- she was useless anyway, and needed to be disposed of. Don't think of it. _For some reason Pon sounded comforting- something she only did when Azula was too numb to help herself, to get up and be strong. "Now since that gift was useless, I suggest you come with me to the courtyard- I'm sure this will be of more use to you." She nodded and turned, swallowing down the bile in her throat and following her father silently out of the room, knowing what was expected of her.

**Have you figured out who the woman was? Please review! The next chapter is going to be very important... Hope you enjoy :) Thanks. **


	7. Chapter 7

**I AM SO SORRY! I accidentally clicked the 'complete' button- I'm not done yet! It was a mistake! Please disregard this poor, technologically challenged author's mistake and keep reading. It gets better!**

Revealed

She followed her father down the hallway to the palace doors, listening to the self-pride in his voice as he led her to her next gifts. "Now Azula, do you know what I did?" he asked her, and she summoned a look of admiration onto her face in case he looked down and saw her revulsion at the memory of his killing the woman in her room. He went on without asking. "I have created lightning- there have been few benders who are able to do this, it takes power and a certain amount of ruthlessness."

"I would be honored to learn from you, Father, if you deem me worthy." she requested, keeping all emotion from her voice. "What are we doing, might I ask?" He pushed open the door to the courtyard and walked down the steps ahead of her, blocking her view. She shuddered at the pain in her side, feeling a warm trickle of blood on her side. Shui mocked her silently for her weakness, but she ignored him, quickly pinching her skin with her talons, trying to take the pain away. When they reached the stone platform, he stepped aside- she froze in her tracks as she saw two girls who looked to be her own age standing together near the grand gate that separated the royal palace from the grounds. She had no idea who they were, and her heart beat sped up as her father pushed her forward- they went out to meet them, and she shrank back from this feeling of uncertainty.

Shui hissed, but made no comment, and Pon seemed to be waiting for something. Her mind reeled- was she supposed to fight them? Were they her new servants? She stepped back as one of them began running towards her, bringing her hands up- it was a fight. She quickly shot a burst of bluebell flames at the oncoming girl- she somersaulted high into the air, flipping once and touching down right in front of the surprised girl- in one move, Ozai was holding Azula's fingertips to block her fire, and the other girl was smiling widely.

"Hi! Wow, your flames are pretty and so are you- powerful too! What's your favorite game? Mine is tumbling. That's like gymnastics, except it sounds prettier." Azula was baffled- she looked from the attractive brown eyed, brown haired girl to her father, who smiled harshly, pinching her fingertips before letting her go.

"This is Ty Lee, the daughter of a duke in Fire Lord Azulan's court. She is going to be one of your new companions- a highly skilled martial artist, and very knowledgeable about the body and its pressure points." She didn't look very intimidating, dressed in loose pink trousers which bagged, then secured below her knees and a pink top that left her arms bare- her shoes were red as well as the sash on her pants. She smiled with innocence and giggled quietly at her blank expression before taking her hand and swinging it back and forth excitedly.

Azula noticed the other girl approaching, and started- she had long, lethal looking needles between her fingers and was casually twirling them around, looking bored. Her long, black hair hung heavily down her back, and long bangs partially covered her feline-like yellow eyes, contrasting with her pale skin- it looked too white against the blood red robes she was wearing with large sleeves and deep pockets. She sheathed her needles before bowing slightly to Azula and slinking to Ty Lee's side. "This is Mai, also the daughter of a politician in your grandfather's court- as you can see; she is on her way to becoming a weapon's specialist. Next fall you three will begin your training in the Royal Fire Nation Academy, and until then, they will be living with us."

Azula could do nothing but consent- his voice left no room for arguing. As they walked back into the palace, followed by a multitude of servants carrying her new guests' belongings, she listened carefully to Ty Lee's chatter. She'd never met girls her age before, it was strange to see how immature they acted, and how unconcerned they were. She bared her teeth at the unfamiliar jealousy, but when Ty Lee grasped her hand, she turned to her and saw something in her smile that calmed her down.

"So what's you father like?"

There were in her room drinking some tea Iroh had left for her when a physician entered, interrupting Azula as she hastily praised Ozai- she found it harder to keep her emotions in check with these two, it was disarming. "Lady Azula, we need to redo your bindings and check your wound." She argued, but the stubborn man took no notice, standing her up and removing her robe from her shoulders so that it hung from the tie at her waist but exposed her under-top and the ragged gash in her side- Ty Lee gasped and looked away as Mai averted her eyes indifferently. The acrobat looked back at the girl and her eyes were full of worry.

"What happened Azula? Did it hurt?" She didn't answer, just gritted her teeth as the medic jerked the bandage away from her body, sending pain through her nerve endings.

"Azula and her father were sparring and he burned her, causing a laceration across her side. We are used to these injuries happening- they are easy to treat as long as your patient stays in bed as she's told." He flinched back as she snarled at him, small blue flames shooting from her fingers and singeing the bottom of his white robe.

"Get out!" she commanded, and he seemed to realize he had overstepped his place- his face drained of color as anger rose in her eyes, as Shui glared at him with bloodlust from within her golden orbs. He muttered an apology and bowed deeply, retreating and forgetting to close her door. She turned after him to yell, but heard a loud gasp from her companions.

_Stupid little girl, they've seen- what are you going to tell them now?_ Pon admonished, and she closed her eyes, thinking hard.

Mai closed her mouth immediately after her exclamation, glad her mother was not around to see her behave so commonly. But she couldn't help it- long, angry red marks crisscrossed each other on the young girl's back, and large blue-black splotches camouflaged her ivory skin. Raised silver scars made their way down her shoulder blades, covering her arms in a pattern barely visible unless one was looking for it. She exchanged a short, silent conversation with Ty Lee using only their eyes- this must have been what the royal physician was referring to. Azula turned back around, making no comment but flushing, hastily wrapping her silk robe once again around her shoulders, though it was bloodstained.

She knew better than to ask- secrets went hand in hand with politics, and she'd grown up in a household where silence was perfection. Still, she dislodged a small sharp throwing star from a hidden fold in her sleeve and flicked it along her knuckles in anger. In her young mind, a powerful man like Prince Ozai had no right to attack his six year old daughter- she shivered at the mental image, repulsed by his power.

"He doesn't know what he's talking about," Azula stated confidently, and Ty Lee nodded, not knowing what to say. They heard a voice from outside the door- her eyes widened and she hushed the other two girls, standing up lightly and flitting to the door to eavesdrop as the royal daughter followed after her, leaving Mai to stare passively at the floor.

"It was frightening, to tell you the truth- do you remember the story the Dragon Zahdi told Fire Lord Azulan?" The physician's voice was hushed, but loud enough to carry through the slight crack in the door- Azula roughly pushed Ty Lee aside a little, and the taller girl allowed her more space. The title of Dragon was extremely hard to achieve- only those who had killed one of the beasts took the name as a symbol of their strength, their honor. Whatever story they told was worth listening to. She barely noticed when her fellow eavesdropper went back to sit down, bored with the task already.

"Yes, didn't he say something about staring into the eyes of the dragon while he slaughtered it and seeing the color go from gold to red as its life left its body?"

"Yes, and afterwards he dreamt that the spirit of the dragon had left the body but not entered the spirit world, instead becoming a demon of two parts- the dragon self and the spirit self, which took the form of a great bird…" His voice dropped even lower, and she strained her ears to catch his words, ignoring Shui and Pon's orders to shut out his voice.

"Well, while I was treating Lady Azula, the strangest thing happened- she got mad, and her eyes…" She stopped breathing at his next words, and her voices grew strangely silent in anticipation.

"I swear to Agni I saw scarlet in them."

Shui and Pon exploded in sound, long, terrifying screams of laughter, wails of mirth, taunting giggles too fast to be tolerated. She gritted her teeth and fell to her knees, causing the other two girls to rush to her side, crying out her name. "Leave me," she ground out, and they jumped back in horror- her voice sounded hardly human. Ty Lee tried to step closer, and Azula flinched away, telling them once again to go. They wordlessly fled the room, and she wrapped her arms around her head, begging her voices to stop.

_Well, child, don't you want to know exactly what he meant by that?_ Shui snarled, and Pon laughed as Azula shook her head, desperately wishing for ignorance, for silence. _Come now, don't be weak. You will know soon enough, little monster…_ They faded away slowly as she patiently waited for release, and the second they left, she heard footsteps slapping down the hall- someone was running. Her door burst open and Ty Lee flew in, shortly followed by Mai, Zuko, and lastly, her parents. Ursa took one look at her and dropped to her knees, searching her delicate frame for injuries. When she saw the bloodstains she turned to her husband, who looked angry at being disturbed during his lunch by his two newest house guests.

"What's wrong with her?" she inquired, and Ty Lee spoke up quickly, her high voice strangely tearful when she said Azula's wound had started hurting again really bad after the physician had left- she didn't mention that they had listened to the conversation or that she had forced him out of the room. Ursa once again slipped Azula's robes from her shoulder, ignoring her protests, and inspected the wound. "This was not bandaged properly- is that what's wrong, Azula honey? Is it your side that hurts you?"

She didn't know how they'd come to the conclusion that she'd been hurt, but she was glad for the cover story. She nodded, trying to look weary, and watched as her mother ushered a frightened looking Zuko out the door, who was quickly followed by Mai and Ty Lee as the Princess went to find another healer. The six year old was left alone with her father, who looked at her coldly, disapproval rolling off him in waves.

"That healer did not do his job, and what's more, he dared to question your judgment, Father- he spoke out of turn and insulted your teachings. Because of his lack of dedication I am in pain, and because he lacks common sense, you are being questioned." Shui fed her the words and she said them quickly, defensively. She watched in apprehension as Ozai's eyes clouded over, but then he smiled at her cruelly and patted her head.

"You have done well, my pet." he said, and walked out of the room, leaving her alone.

_Monster. _The word came as a surprise to her- it was usually Shui who spoke so viciously, but the word sounded even more terrible coming from Pon. She was scathing, as if she was a mother catching their child in the wrong. _Why didn't you tell him the whole truth? Because of you, that man is in danger. You lied, Azula, and you probably just put a death sentence on his head._

She'd had enough. "I don't care. That man was an insult to the Fire Nation, he got what he deserved." Pon laughed, suddenly lighter, more carefree._ Good job, my little one. You're as ruthless now as we have wanted you to be. You are truly the perfect one for this._ She frowned, angry that she'd been tested by her own delusions. "Leave me alone," she exclaimed savagely, and felt their humor. _Very well,_ Shui chuckled, not at all intimidated, and she felt their awareness slipping away.

She heard a knock on her door, and allowed the person entry. A timid girl came into the room, dressed in the white robe of a physician. "I am here to change your bandages, Lady Azula," said the new healer, and she smiled, not even needing to ask what had happened to her previous medic.

"Very well then."

**I would like to say a very special thanks to my readers and my reviewers- please continue to grace me with your advice, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks!**

**And once again, pretty please with a cherry on top forgive my stupidity with the 'complete' mishap- my mistake, please don't hate me!**


	8. Chapter 8

Dreams

She stood alone in a field of golden wheat, marveling at the sensation of the rough stalks against her skin. A little laugh broke free of her control, rising up and dancing on the hot air like a butterfly. Suddenly she heard a darker laugh answering from behind her, and she whirled around- nothing was there but the tall, whispering grasses. She stepped closer to them as they swayed, squinting her topaz eyes, searching for what lay beyond them. As her small foot came down, they shot up above her head- she jumped back in surprise, hearing a little giggle from behind her. She struck out savagely with her foot as she spun on her heel, but something snagged around her ankle and she fell with a surprised yelp. The grasses which had been so innocent a second ago were now tall and frightening, masking darkness from her view as the grasses around her feet turned to metal clamps holding her in place. She gasped in fear and struggled, pushing blue flames from under her nails to slice through the steel, crying out when she felt it searing across the tops of her bare feet. Once she was freed she bolted up and ran, ignoring the wheat that got caught in her long hair, searching wildly for the blue sky but only seeing the earth towering over her.

_This way… _someone murmured, and she jumped, but followed the familiarly raspy voice as it chased ahead of her, leaving the grass slightly smoking in their wake as a mark of the path she should be on. _Follow me, my little one, we will make you safe…_ she kept at it, fighting the ominous plants, but there were too many- she left the path behind, and somehow knew she was in the center of the field with no way out.

"Help," she whimpered, and a fierce chuckle reverberated through her bones. _Burn it to the ground,_ someone whispered in her ear, and she screamed, jumping high into the air and blasting scorching flames in a circle around her small body- she hung in the air for a moment and watched as destruction spread throughout the beautiful landscape, howling for fuel and eliminating everything in it's path.

When she touched back down to earth, it was in a barren, smoking wasteland- the stalks of wheat were gone, their shriveled remains crumbling to dust if touched. Everything was silent as death, and she stood alone in the wake of her own disaster, unbelieving.

_Very good. _The words came from behind her and she shrieked, spinning around and

falling to her knees as she took in the sight before her. A huge, golden dragon stood before her on clawed feet, its vibrant red eyes screaming its bloodlust. It was lethal and commanding, with great wings folded at its sides and steam rising from its open mouth. She could count the long, knife-sharp teeth, made all the more terrifying by the human-like leer upon its majestic face. _Do you not recognize me, child?_ A dreadful feeling came over her and she sunk further to the ground.

Shui the dragon laughed at her, a horrible sound. _I thought you might. Little monster. You never bothered to learn the name of one of the last great dragons, did you?_ A large bird suddenly dove from the sky, perching gracefully on Shui's head and turning its head to the side to appraise the young girl. "Pon?" she whispered, and the demon bird cackled. _Yes, my dear, it is I. Did you not wonder why the names came to you so easily after you admitted to yourself that we were real? We are not just delusions, little Azula. We are two beings of the same soul, condemned to prowl this earth forever and not move into the Spirit World until the Avatar himself sends us- which means you are out of luck, for the Avatar died with the rest of his air benders. _

"What do you mean? No… you're not real. You're not. You exist only in my head- I'm dreaming…"_ This is true, little girl, you are dreaming. We are encased in your body until we can find one who can harbor us next- you remind us of our original conqueror, the one who slain us and forced us to become demons. _Shui interrupted his winged companion. _So, you never learned the name of the last great golden dragon? His name was Ponshui, little monster, and our power now resides in you. _

She clapped a hand over her ears as they began to laugh, and screamed for them to be quiet- she focused on the burns she'd inflicted earlier on her feet, distracting herself with the pain, and heard a roar of anger from the demons. They were enraged at her command- she looked up and saw a blast of fire coming straight at her-

Then she sat up in her own bed, screaming and clutching the sheets as the brightness seared the inside of her eyelids, making the dark room impossible to make out. She heard an eruption of yells, felt hands holding her down, and she went limp, opening her eyes to see a frightened healer hovering above her, sponging the sweat from her face. "Get off, and leave me- it was only a bad dream, you mustn't overreact to such trivial things." Her voice was commanding even through the aching tiredness, and the girl backed off as the royal child got out of bed, wincing slightly as her side radiated pain. "Don't you dare follow me." She padded over to the door and wrenched it open, pulling her dressing gown over her sleeping gown as she marched silently to the recently filled guest rooms.

She knocked on the door loudly, and then went right in- Ty Lee rubbed her eyes as she sat up in bed yawning, looking puzzled at the interruption but smiling and bounding up anyway. "Hey Azula, what's up?" she asked sweetly, and Azula hesitated.

"I just felt lone- bored. I felt bored, so I came here. Do you know if Mai awakens easily?" The other girl shrugged, but cart wheeled to the door and ran out, pounding on the other girl's door before running in and barely dodging a small throwing star, which instead imbedded itself in the tapestry on the opposite wall. She dove into the room, and Azula heard a muffled yell and a brief clamoring, then hushed whispers before Ty Lee poked her head out the door, shoulder bleeding slightly.

"It's safe now!" she squealed, and Aula entered the room, raising her eyebrows at a frowning, sleepy Mai clutching three more sharp metal stars in between the fingers of her left hand and glaring at the bubbly girl in front of her.

"Next time you come into my room without asking, I'll take off that pretty hair of yours," she told Ty Lee, and the girl giggled and shrugged. Mai turned to Azula, slipping silently out of bed and flicking the throwing stars into the dark wood frame of her bed. "So what did you want, my lady?" she asked politely, and Azula sat down in a chair, thinking it over.

"I don't know, really. I was just too tired to sleep, but too bored to do anything else, if that makes any sense. Are you guys coming to like the palace?" she asked with genuine curiosity- she needed to hear anything to get her mind off of the nightmare, and the truth that accompanied it. Ty Lee erupted into movement as she began talking about how much fun the grounds were, and Mai shrugged, indifferent. The three girls sat up and talked quietly until they felt the sun rise- Azula's body awakened, the fire within her growing stronger, and she leapt to her feet.

"This has been fun, girls- do you want to come to breakfast with me?" she asked, smiling, and they nodded, following her out of Mai's room, down the long, cold halls, and into the large dining room. Mother, Father and Zuko were already there, and her stomach twisted when she saw dark bruises along her mother's neck- Pon awakened inside her mind and comforted her without words as the three girls took their places at the table.

"Azula, Zuko- your mother and I have some news. Your cousin Lu Ten was killed in battle three days ago, and Uncle Iroh will be coming home." Azula shut down as she remembered the tall, handsome man who had once showed her how to make the turtle ducks in the pond outside come to her, and she looked to her mother- her face soured when she saw the woman holding a crying Zuko, stroking his hair and not paying any attention to her daughter. "Furthermore, we are conferencing with the Fire Lord tonight, and you are expected to perform," Ozai commanded, staring Azula straight in her eyes. She smiled at him, excited at the prospect of showing her bending to her grandfather.

"As you wish, my lord. Oh, and I have a question, if you permit me." He nodded, and she took a deep breath, thinking back to what Shui and Pon had said about their first keeper, the man who killed the dragon. "Who is Dragon Zahdi?" Ozai smirked at the change of subject, and ran a hand over his long, trimmed beard.

"Dragon Zahdi is a famous warrior, the one to slay the dragon known as Ponshui- the Golden One. It's strange that you should ask, Azula- for the last person to expel blue flames instead of red ones was him, he was a powerful man until his death." Azula bit her lip and nodded, thanking him for his explanation, and Pon reached out to her, trying to caress her face as she had seen Ursa do to Zuko through the young girl's eyes. _We saw the potential in you for blue flames- with us by your side; you will be more powerful than Zahdi ever was. _The words sent a rush of pride through her system, and she grinned to herself, imagining the Fire Lord's traditional hair piece tucked into her own bun.

She had no way of knowing that this very image would become a point of obsession, that

it would ruin her.

**This came out different than I originally intended, and I feel like it explained a lot. Please review! Sorry for not updating in a while!**


	9. Chapter 9

Ursa smiled gently at her son as she pinched his sides gently, making him giggle as the sat beside the turtle duck pond. The seven year old kicked her hand accidentally and she watched as he sat up, inspected her fingers for injuries and looked up at her, his smooth face creased slightly in worry. "Sorry Mom." he apologized and she kissed him on the top of his head.

"It's alright, my son, I'm not hurt. I love you." she reminded him, and he smiled, going back to watching the small animals in the pond and leaning up against her arm. She pulled him close and sighed happily, then saw her daughter approaching and smiled. "Oh, and does someone else want to be tickled too?" she asked teasingly, reaching out and wiggling her fingers at the dark haired beauty. The six year old was wearing that ridiculously ornate Fire Nation Army uniform, and Ursa clicked her tongue in disapproval for her husband- he treated her so harshly, like she was just another soldier instead of his daughter. But little Azula seemed to love the armor, wearing it every time she trained and making no complaints when she came in from the training grounds battered and bleeding. She'd tried to talk to Ozai about lightening up and not hurting her so badly, but he'd laughed and pushed her away.

Azula stiffened slightly at the invitation, and Zuko watched curiously as she cocked her head, her eyes far away- it looked like she was listening to something, and like she didn't at all care for what she heard. She caught Zuko's eye and frowned, then bowed to Ursa. "No thank you, Mother. Zuko, Father says that we are to have a meeting with Fire Lord Azulon, and that you are to look presentable within a half hour and meet us outside the chambers." She turned quickly and took a few steps before Ursa sat up slightly and called her name, her arm dropping from around Zuko's shoulders.

"Come back and give your mother a hug," she said, her smile slightly sad. Zuko watched as she wrinkled her nose slightly in wariness then slowly went over to the Fire Princess and wrapped her arms loosely around the woman.

Pon hissed in her mind. _Get away from her, stupid woman_, she growled, and an image of a bird protecting her eggs suddenly came to mind. She shivered at the distinctly jealous edge in her demon's voice, and tried to concentrate as Ursa smiled down on her. It was strange. Her real mother seemed to favor Zuko over her, and Pon was always with her, sometimes protecting her and other times pushing her past her breaking point. _I am making you strong…_ she whispered, and the little girl found herself nodding silently.

Ursa pulled away from her daughter to study the intelligent little beauty. Something in her eyes was far off and disturbed, and when she went to brush a hair out of Azula's face, she gasped and ducked, trying to shield herself- Ursa froze at the undiluted terror on her face, and felt Zuko go still beside her. Azula opened her mouth and looked her straight in the eye, then scampered away without a sound.

Zuko felt his mother's eyes on him, and avoided looking up at all costs. He scuffed his foot along the ground and played with the golden stripe on his belted tunic until her gentle hands lifted his face. "Honey, I know that you know what's hurting your sister so much, and I want you to tell me right now." Her voice was firm, and images suddenly flashed in his mind- the fear on Azula's face when she had shown him what Ozai had done, the weary hopelessness in her eyes when she came in from training with the cruel man, and last, the sickening image of seeing his pale baby sister lying in a pool of her own blood as physicians worked frantically to save her life. "Zuko. Tell me who is hurting her- she wouldn't have flinched for any reason." He stared into her motherly gaze, and blinked back tears of frustration, of shame that he couldn't have helped her on his own.

"It was Father. Father did it all." Ursa gasped and a hand flew to her throat. He peeked, and saw five little marks there like he'd seen on Azula. "Did he do those too?" She hesitated, and then smiled, grabbing his hand and telling him to get dressed as they walked away from their spot by the pond.

Azula stood up at her father's command and bowed low before the wall of fire and their grandfather behind it, then went into the first stances of her training set. Ozai smiled as he watched her make the blue fire dance to her will, congratulating himself silently on his accomplishments. Zuko bit his lip as her face turned from concentrated and proud to dead, expressionless, as her eyes flickered from gold to red- or was it a trick of the light? At the same time, her fire turned lighter, got hotter- there was a more brutal grace to her bending. She ended her performance by kicking a flame into the wall of fire, signifying the addition of her strength to the nation. She sauntered back to the sound of their father's praise, and as she sat she turned to him, leering.

"You'll never catch up." She hissed demonically, and Zuko's eyes widened in fear as her gaze flickered scarlet. Suddenly she straightened up and gasped, the color fading as surprise took hold of her features, as if she didn't quite know how she'd gotten back to sitting down. He ignored her pleading whisper ("Zuzu?") and stood up, demanding to show what he'd been learning.

Ursa smiled proudly at her son as he tried his hardest, and heard a derisive snort from the man beside her. She turned to Ozai and glared at him, hissing quietly, "Don't you dare laugh at him, I know what you have done to my daughter and if you think you-" He reached over silently, interlaced their fingers, and bent her thumb back until it cracked. She bit down on her tongue to keep the scream of pain at bay as tears flooded her eyes, and at the same time Zuko fell and failed to add his fire to the wall. Ursa flung herself forward, murmuring comforting words as Azulon demanded to speak to Ozai privately. She fled the chambers, not knowing if she could keep the pain in any longer, and waited until she was safely in her room before crying out in agony. The servant girl came forward and called the medics, stroking her hair like she always did and trying to comfort the broken woman.

"Azula, stop it!" Zuko said in hushed tones, but she shushed him and continued to drag him behind the curtains to watch the conference continue. Her nails bit into his skin and he gasped- she looked down and flushed, drawing her hand back and apologizing. A moment later she flinched, and went completely blank. She mechanically turned back to the war room, not seeming to hear his whispered concerns.

"Father- you must have realized, as I have, that with Lu Ten gone, Iroh's bloodline has ended. After his son's death, my brother abandoned the siege in Ba Sing Se, and then who knows when he will return home? But I am here; Father- and my children are alive." Their father's voice was soothing and persuasive, and Azula jumped when Shui growled in delight. _I see- maybe our time will come faster than you think, little child, _he said, and she whimpered at the threatening implications. Zuko put a hand on her shoulder and she looked up gratefully, wincing as they screamed at her to back away and show no weakness. She obliged, and turned away from his hurt expression.

"Say what it is you want." Azulon commanded.

"Father- revoke Iroh's birthright. I am your humble servant, here to serve you and our nation. Use me." His pleading tone made his daughter smirk- he had taught her that when one was underestimated, they often had the advantage. He was a clever man, and with him at the head of the nation, she would be even closer to the throne herself.

Zuko shuddered at his father's words- would he really do that to his older brother? "You dare suggest I betray Iroh? My first born?" The rage was tangible, and he could see Ozai's disbelief- he hadn't expected this. "Directly after the demise of his only beloved son?" The wall of fire licked higher up in the air, sending heat waves through out the room as it reflected the Fire Lord's anger. "I think Iroh has suffered enough, but you? Your punishment has scarcely begun!" Azulon roared, and Zuko backed away from the sight, scared. Azula barely registered his leaving footsteps as a whip of fire lashed around her father, making him yell in pain. How could her tormentor be the one in pain? It made no sense to her, and she brought a hand to her mouth as he fell forward onto his hands and knees.

"For what you have done, you must sacrifice your own firstborn." Azula bit back a cry of horror at the sentence- no, they couldn't mean Zuko. It was a mistake, they wouldn't really think of killing him, would they?_ Be quiet. Don't you realize that if Zuko was out of the way you would be that much closer to the throne? Silly child._ Shui forced an image into her mind of her looking down from the throne as azure flames shot up all around her, and a small pang of pleasure drifted through her body, quickly followed by guilt in the pit of her stomach. Pon forced her way down into the girl's body and swallowed the shame whole, and Azula nodded silently.

When her heart, soul and body belonged to the demons in her mind, there was no way to defy them. Instead, the crumbled underneath their will and succumbed to their vision of the future.

She was awoken suddenly and brutally by a small pinch on her stomach. She gasped and opened her eyes, staring up at her father. His eyes bore no feeling, but he stepped back, yanking her off the bed and forcing her to kneel before him. "What is your will, Father?" she murmured properly, and he chuckled at her composure.

"Look up, little pet." She complied, staring into his sinister eyes. "I have a task for you, one that I do not trust with anyone else. Can you do it?" Warning bells screamed in her head, but she nodded anyway, tense with anticipation and shivering in her thin silk night gown. "I want you to kill Zuko when I give you the order." She froze and gasped, her eyes wide with shock, and he patted her harshly on the head as he made his way out the door, leaving her kneeling and immobile on the floor long after he had departed.

**Please review- likes, dislikes, etc. And there's big news coming in the next couple of Author's Notes in chapter ten- so be on your guard! Thanks!**


	10. Chapter 10

**This takes place right after the meeting with Fire Lord Azulon in 'Zuko Alone'. I wrote it mostly from Ursa's point of view because what she thinks and feels as this is happening is very important. Read the bottom for an important announcement!**

Ursa ran quickly through the deadly quiet halls, looking behind her shoulder every so often, making sure that she was alone. Horror was everywhere in her body, she could never forget what she had done, or why she had done it. Her mind flitted back to just a few hours ago, just a few choices ago, just a few worlds ago.

"Ursa. He has commanded me to kill Zuko." The words sent an icy shock through her body, she could only gasp and look in terror at the indifference on his face. "Tomorrow at dawn, Azula will slip into his room- I've trained her well, she will be able to fool him into letting her in. Any one else would arouse his suspicion, and we cannot have that. She will kill him, and we will be put back into the line of succession. Do you understand?"

Her knees felt weak, and the woman collapsed into a chair, trembling as her formidable husband loomed over her. His hand darted out and grabbed her chin, forcing her face up to look into his flaming yellow eyes. "I asked you if you understood!" he spat, and she flinched back as sparks flew from his fingertips, stinging her cheeks. However, there was something else burning, deep within her- the image of her son floated through the wall of fear, and her heart splintered as Zuko smiled at her in her mind.

"No." she said quietly, and wrenched away from his grip, backing up towards the door. "No, Ozai, I don't understand. He's our son! Our flesh and blood! I love him… you will not take him from me, I swear to you." He let out a bellow of rage and disbelief and prowled towards her, grabbing her thin upper arms as she cried out. "Stop! You're a monster, I hate you!" she screamed, her tears coursing down the pale skin of her cheeks. He thrust her away from him as if she'd burned him, and his mouth opened in shock. She'd never dared to speak the words, but now they ran from her mouth, tasting eerily like blood.

"I won't let you destroy our children like that. You would make her kill her older brother? Your son? There has to be another way," she reasoned desperately, brokenly, and immediately he smiled at her, narrowing his eyes and making her stomach clench.

"Now that you mention it, Ursa, there is another path." His tone clearly told her that she'd been manipulated- again. She'd played passionately right into his trap, and now she was caught up in whatever he decided. He began to pace the room as her eyes followed his warily, like an animal tracking its hunter, searching for an opportunity to escape.

"Kill the Fire Lord, and save your son. Since the great fool Iroh is not here, I will take the throne, and our children will live to be the heirs of the Fire Nation. If you are caught in your act, you must flee," he ordered, and she stepped back from the force of the regret in his voice, "and you must never come back upon pain of death." Silence covered the room as she thought, her mind wildly turning as she took in his words. She could not kill Azulon, but in the back of her mind, she already knew exactly what she had to do.

"You must promise me that you will not kill Zuko or Azula. And if you ever hit her again, I will kill you." He smiled painfully at the hatred in her voice, trying to cover his hurt, having no doubt in his mind that she was serious. He gave his word and idly watched as the woman he called his wife began to get dressed, covering her finery in a thick black cloak and sitting down at the desk. She quickly wrote two letters, her hands trembling but the print still elegant, and sealed them, handing the parchment to him and telling him that if she did not return, he was to give them to her children.

"Here." She turned and found him holding out a dagger, the blade tainted with something green and dripping. "This is covered in poison- all you will need to do is plunge it into his heart and keep him quiet, and we'll blame it on the Water Tribe filth- this was taken from one of their warriors, it won't be too hard to frame him." She shivered in disgust and took the weapon, sliding it carefully in the sleeve of her dress and turning towards the door. She felt his hand on her wrist, and he spun her around, pressing her against the wall and kissing her roughly, passionately. She felt nothing, just a cold desire to get it over with and ensure her daughter's sanity, her son's safety.

"Goodbye, wife," he murmured, and she looked deep into his eyes. They were wrought with pain, and she had a flashback to when they had first been wed. He was a kinder man back then, full of idealism about the war and aspirations to be a better father to his own children than his dad had been to him and Iroh. But he had become the monster he'd feared now, and there was no love left in her for the man- just pity. He was too obsessed with power to really love her, although she could see plainly the effort he was putting in now. It was just too late.

"Farewell."

Ursa had walked silently through the halls, thinking only of one thing- her children. They had saved her, given her a purpose, and now she was sacrificing her conscience to stay with them- if she wasn't caught, that is. She needed more time with Azula; to bring her back to the little angel she had been instead of the miniature soldier with dead eyes. It tore her apart every time the girl flinched, every time she bowed formally instead of just hugging her mother. She craved her son's laugh, wanted to feel his small arms wrap around her once more as she encouraged him to do the best he could do. With a start, she realized that she was outside Fire Lord Azulon's quarters- his usual guards were absent, no doubt a trick of Ozai's had led them on a wild cat goose chase. She pushed the door open and saw the old man asleep in his bed, powerful even as he dreamt. Her mind went blank as she slowly crept towards him, unsheathing the dagger and holding it firmly. She stood over him, hesitating, suddenly an image of her babies ran through her mind, and she slammed her hand down with a cry of terror, bringing the sharp metal through his flesh and covering his mouth. She hung on as he thrashed, shivering as his eyes bore a hole through her heart with their silently pleading accusation.

As soon as it was finished she backed away, breathing heavily and crying softly- she retched at the sight she had caused, wiping her crimson hands on the cloak, and froze as footsteps echoed outside the room. Her mind blasted back into reality and she darted forward, pulling her hood up as she fled from the room. She heard a shout from behind her but didn't look back, didn't stop running even when her breaths stopped, even when her lungs screamed for release. She kept going until she saw the door to her room and collapsed into it, flinging back the hood and staring around for her husband- he wasn't there, but when she saw herself in the mirror, her world stopped.

Her golden hairpiece was no longer stabbed into the top knot on her head. She flung the bloodied cloak from her body and searched for it in the hood, and when she didn't find it, she knew with sickening certainty that all was lost. "Oh, Agni," she gasped hysterically, her mind whirling, "why? Why must you rip me from my children?" She felt everything inside her shrivel up and die when she thought about them, her little prince, Zuko and her precious misguided baby, Azula. They needed her. She stood up suddenly, tore out of the large, empty room, and in no time at all was pushing open the door of her daughter's bedroom, her breathing erratic. What she found instead of her expectations of a sleeping child surprised her. Azula was sitting on the floor of her room, pinching her skin and taking to thin air.

"Pon, please, stop- Daddy told me I must do it, but I can't, I can't kill him-" She flinched and then turned her head slightly, letting the crimson hue in her eyes be seen as blood began to well up from her arm. "Shui, he's my brother. Zuzu… I can't." Ursa stepped forward, recognizing the names, and watched as her daughter snapped into alertness and gazed up at her in fear. "Mommy, they won't be quiet!" she murmured, and Ursa bent down, hugging her tightly and finally realizing what was happening with her- the demons from Dragon Zahdi's great success were housed inside her daughter. This was why she had changed so drastically.

Azula wrinkled her nose at the smell on Mother's cloak- it was metallic and awful, and it seemed to make Pon and Shui hungry. "I understand now, sweetie- I don't have much time, but I need you to know that they do not control you- fight them, Azula, please baby, don't let your father use you and hurt you. I have to go, but I love you." She kissed her hard on the forehead and the little girl sat in shock as her demons hissed at the woman. She bit down on her tongue, forcing them to stay quiet, and opened her mouth.

"Mommy, I'm sorry-" she said, and Ursa smiled wanly, tears glinting in her eyes. She brushed the hair from her cheek and stood, and in seconds Azula was once more alone. She felt them come back, and they laughed quietly at the weakness in her body before she drew inside herself and fought them, hard. The realization of her mother leaving gave her the strangest sort of power over them- they shied away from the agony.

_I hate you!_ She screamed at them in the darkness of her mind, seeing flashes of the golden dragon and his great bird coming at her as if to attack, then retreating. She waged war against them, drove them into the corner and tied them down with her newly found will, lashed them back with whips of her humanity, caged them within the memory of her mother's departure and using the emotion as a lock. _By severing our ties with you, you are losing some of yourself; Azula- you're losing the power we give you, our advice, and everything you use to drive us out will be gone to you forever. _Shui's frantic words stopped her cold, and there was an eternity of waiting as she made her decision.

"I don't care anymore," she whimpered, and felt a blinding flash of pain as she confined them to the back of her head, as they ripped away every feeling in her body and left only the shell and her brilliant mind. It was too much, and she fainted, slumping to the ground and closing her eyes. Oblivion welcomed her into its ranks, and she dreamt of blood, love, and all that had torn her apart.

Zuko woke up gradually as he felt long, loving arms circle around his body and pull him close. When his eyes opened, it was his mother who stood above him, whispering words he could only half understand. "All I have done, I have done to keep you safe. I love you- never forget who you are, Zuko." There was an edge of panic in her voice, and anguish saturated the large room with her pain.

"Mother?" he said sleepily, and saw a ghost of a smile pass across her face before she whipped her head around, freezing as she heard footsteps right outside the door. Without another word, she kissed him gently and wrenched away from him, tears pouring down her face as he slumped back into sleep. She opened the door, and Ozai stood with two guards just outside her son's chambers. She took a deep breath and walked forward into her fate as he wordlessly held out her bloodstained hairpiece.

"We cannot let you stay." Fire Princess Ursa raised her head high, accepted the golden curl and nodded, setting it against her dark waves and standing tall against all who judged her. She had done it for them, all for them- she'd kept them safe as a mother should, and she would take whatever punishment gladly with the knowledge of their lives.

Zuko ran through the halls, tearing away from his strangely emotionless sister and towards the garden. She had to be there. She couldn't be gone, and Grandfather couldn't be dead. It didn't make sense to him, and as he skidded around the corner, he saw a flash of red near the pond. He felt a glimmer of hope, but it was crushed when he made out the foreboding figure of Ozai. "Where is she?" he asked brokenly, and heard nothing.

Ozai felt every single inch of his body come alive with rage. The boy was sitting there and asking for his mother, after it had been his fault that she was gone. All he wanted was to turn around and hurt him, scorch him until he squealed- but he had promised her. He tensed his shoulders and walked away slowly, ignoring the muffled thud of his son collapsing in tears and focusing on the letters he had kept from his children- no, his tools. The notes were locked up in a small chest in the Tower of History, resting beside the last will of previous Fire Lords and the journal of Lord Sozin. They would never find them- if he had to deal with the knowledge of her hate for him, then they would have to be punished by her departure as well. He would not be alone in his suffering.

Two days later, Zuko watched as his father was crowned Fire Lord, kneeling next to an empty shell of Azula and staring into the future, scared of what he saw in the lines of Ozai's face and desperate for his mother. He had no way of knowing that he would keep that longing in his heart for years to come, nor that the same barred emotion would eventually surface in his sister and destroy her unless someone could help her exorcize the demons inside.

**ATTENTION! I have recently decided to split this story into a trilogy, 'Silent' chronicling their childhood, 'Loud' covering the time of their teenage years before the fall of Ozai, and lastly, 'Eternal' telling the story of what happened after the final episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender. **

**Please tell me what you think about the ending of this first part, and rest assured that I am putting up the first chapter of 'Loud' as soon as possible. Review! Thanks **


	11. Chapter 11

**NOTE: Silent will not be updated anymore- it's complete now, so keep an eye out for Loud- the second part of my Azula Zuko series. Please subscribe to that one as well- I'll get it up sometime tomorrow. Thank you!**


	12. Chapter 12

**THE FIRST CHAPTER OF LOUD IS UP! WOOHOOOOOOOO! YOU CAN FIND IT BY SCROLLING THROUGH THE ZUKO AND AZULA STORIES, OR YOU CAN SIMPLY SEARCH MY NAME, ALEINAREIGNING, AND CHECK OUT MY PROFILE. ENJOY!**


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